In 2250, children stabilize their cultural anxieties before opening their textbooks to the myth of Lululemon. They trace the upside-down “U” with horns as witches trace the sign of Hathor during a beauty spell. What better sign of beauty is it to have everything already accounted for? To leave your children with the babysitter and give her the bag of yoga gear to return to the store for you. To walk around all day in workout gear and a full face of makeup. To vandalize your husband’s Mercedes and stage a break-in. To never sweat. To never lift your feet off the ground. To know your children will one day design software for you and do your taxes. To have the luxury to make every decision with your own health in mind. To donate your old designer clothes to friends just to feel superior. They say that a great monster fought Lululemon. She stumbled onto the war site after drinking too many dry martinis, tuning into her fitness watch that she had not yet paid off. Her eighth maxed-out credit card developed sentience, but she laughed and ordered the audience to fight him.
Kelly Canaday loves to practice chess moves and envision a utopia. She works for the tiny journal, and her work has been featured in NPR Interviews, Into the Void, Poetica Publishing’s Mizmor Anthology, Saw Palm, The Sagebrush Review, and The Mangrove Review.
Wendy Lou Lou Schmidt has been writing short stories, essays and poetry for the last twelve years. She is also a mixed media artist. Written pieces have been published in Chicago Literati, City Lake Poets, Literary Hatchet, Moon Magazine and Rebelle Society to name a few. Art pieces have been published in Rat’s Ass Review, Three Drops From A Cauldron, The Horror Zine, Young Ravens Review and Still Point Gallery.